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Fridge logic in classical literature

BeeBee
edited 2011-09-04 22:29:09 in General
So I was going through Dante's Inferno again, and I got to the Count Ugolino bit.  The guy got backstabbed and executed along with his kids by being walled off in a dungeon and they all starved to death.  And there may or may not have been some Donner Party before they all bit it.

But...why did they die from lack of food first and not lack of water?  It takes several times longer.
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Comments

  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    They drank their own piss!

    Bear Grylls taught them how to do it!
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Because Dante was thinking about what was more poetic than what was more realistic?

    Or just taking the piss?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    There was piss being taken alright...

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Because Dante was too busy having a hateboner the size of the universe to care.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Hasn't it been established for almost a decade now that Dante was basically the world's first fanfic writer?
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    ^^ I'll admit I haven't read it; what did he have such a hateboner about?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Self-Insert is the type of fiction where you place yourself as a main-acting character in the story.

    Fan-fic isn't the right term
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Hasn't it been established for almost a decade now that Dante was basically the world's first fanfic writer?

    That'd imply that the Bible isn't.

    ^^ I'll admit I haven't read it; what did he have such a hateboner about?

    Inferno is basically him complaining and hating on all the political figures who had forced him into exile from Venice, as well as the historical figures he blamed for Italy's current state.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Juan's Inferno.

    7th level of Hell: A place of darkness and despair thought Juan as he continued his journey, It was no surprise that on the Seventh level he found someone quite familiar...

    "Hey, It's juan, finally ready to have sex with Malk yet?" Said Counterclock from her cage suspended over molten lava.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    I was initially excited about the Dante's Inferno game because I was hoping it would be wandering around Hell making sarcastic comments.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    It''s funny cause the 7th Level of Hell is wrath.

    Shoulda gone with two, sweetie.
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    edited 2011-09-04 22:46:49
    So, what level do yaoi fangirls end up in?
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Two. Lust
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Which level is for Vorpys who gotta vorp?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Technically Juan, I would've went to hell for being the perfect Yandere to Malk, remember?
  • Wicked223Wicked223
    We Played Some Open Chords and Rejoiced, For the Earth Had Circled the Sun Yet Another Year
    I was initially excited about the Dante's Inferno game because I was hoping it would be wandering around Hell making sarcastic comments.


    So I'm not the only who thought that Dante's Inferno could've been a darkly humorous platformer in the style of Psychonauts?
  • MoeDantesMoeDantes
    no longer cuddly, but still Edmond
    This topic seems to be a case of thinking a 14th century writer knows or has access to all the same minutinae of trivia as a modern internet browser.

    Also it wouldn't surprise me if "starved to death" could work for either food or water.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    edited 2011-09-04 22:59:12
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^^Wait wat.

    ^^I was more imagining it as a sort of exploration horror game.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    This topic seems to be a case of thinking a 14th century writer knows or has access to all the same minutinae of trivia as a modern internet browser.

    "People generally die of thirst faster than they die of starvation" is trivia now?

    Also, "Starved to death" absolutely cannot be used to refer to dying of thirst.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    7th level is wrath Malk, and this whole time I've heard of you talking about your female friends
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    edited 2011-09-04 23:02:08
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    She was just borrowing my class notes! Honest!

    In any case, Inferno is definitely the most vindictive of his works, though Paradiso involves him propping up a girl he never spoke to to a literally saintly position so...
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Fairly sure doctors in the 14th century knew that.

    Also, fairly sure that any person who graduated from an university in the middle of the rennaisance was forced to learn medicine.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    ^ The Doctor if he was in the 14th century would know that :D
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Dante's Inferno being an adventure game would have been much better.
  • BeeBee
    They drank their own piss!

    Bear Grylls taught them how to do it!

    Tears freezing over.

    Better drink my own piss.


    Hasn't it been established for almost a decade now that Dante was basically the world's first fanfic writer?

    Actually, that's more likely to go to Virgil for the Aeneid.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    which is funny, cuz Virgil is Dante's master.
  • BeeBee
    edited 2011-09-04 23:14:21
    It's like the Inception of fanfiction.  Or a hell of a crossover.  Or something BWOOOOONG-worthy.
  • MoeDantesMoeDantes
    no longer cuddly, but still Edmond

    "People generally die of thirst faster than they die of starvation" is trivia now?


    Once you're fucking DEAD does it matter whether its because you didn't eat or because you didn't drink?
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    It doesn't matter to you. But it matters to any doctor worth their salt.
  • BeeBee
    edited 2011-09-04 23:24:40
    In this case it was a large factor in the symbolism used.
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