Skeets

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-20 17:36:03

So I'm having cereal, and I finish and am about to put my bowl away. As I do so I look at the table and there is just this obnoxiously fuck-off big mosquito lying slain on the table. I looked at it to check. Including its legs it was about 4 cm, and its legs were all curled up and its wings out. I wondered what to do with it and how it got there, and how I'd missed it the whole time I was eating breakfast. It was brown.

So I figured it was probably because of the three overflowing binbags that had been casually tossed into the corner of the room to prevent the smell from spreading. It had been surrounded by whirling skeets for a while, which picked at the rubbish like the flies they are. I casually scooped my leftovers into the bin and left the room.

My lazy flatmates don't take out the trash, so I decided I'd leave it there and wait and see if they did. It's always me who does it, but am I in the wrong? It's been over a week and none of them have noticed the skeets, instead moving the trash around to solve the problem. I took one trash bag away today in the hope it'd send a message and maybe reduce their population. The other two are still there now, and I know my flatmate's still around here.

Sammy · 2011-05-20 17:42:25

Are you sure it wasn't a crane fly?

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-20 17:47:42

I know the fuckers, I am pretty sure it wasn't a crane fly, they usually emerge every year. It probably wasn't a skeet either, I just looked on Google images to prove it was a skeet, but it turned out not to be a skeet.

Whatever it was, I just went to take out the bins at long last, there were none in sight, small swarm of angry tiny motherfuckers comes at me as I threaten thier new home in our kitchen. I went back to my room, but they're all sitting on me like parrots on the shoulder of a buggy pirate.

IanExMachina · 2011-05-20 17:49:55

What the hell is a skeet?

Wiki disambiguation gives me only one answer I'd like to apply to this situation:

"A slang term, particularly in the hip hop culture, for semen or the act of ejaculation"

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-20 17:53:27

Mosquitos.

IanExMachina · 2011-05-20 17:54:12

Ahhhh, well too late your kitchen is full of semen now.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-20 17:57:21

At least sperm don't fucking fly at you and infest your kitchen. No smart-arsed responses please.

Okay, so how am I going to remove the bin bag? My flatmate bought some disinfectant, I think they were using it to kill the skeets instead of, you know, taking the bin bag out. I think some kind of passive-aggresive fight over who has to take out the trash has gone on here, and I've only just realised.

IanExMachina · 2011-05-20 17:58:32

Tell your housemate to do it as you've done your share.

Also

at joking about semen flying around your kitchen.

Sammy · 2011-05-20 18:31:11

Toss the bag into the trash vortex!

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-20 18:40:07

I know what they are now. They're gnats!

IanExMachina · 2011-05-20 18:41:10

Ah well that ruins the semen joke, making it gnat funny.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-21 05:15:57

Removed the first bag, the one that was already tied up. The second one is open, filled with filth, and gnats attack me when I touch it. I only got chased out of the kitchen by a few of them with the first bag. The second bag will mean they'll chase me all the way, considering it's their home.

ninjaclown · 2011-05-21 05:18:17

I thought you were talking about Booster Gold.

InsanityAddict · 2011-05-21 05:54:28

Get whiteboard, make cleaning roster. Done.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-21 09:33:19

The final bag's gone. I took it away slowly, and put it into another bag, then took it away. They didn't chase me. They just sat solemnly on the walls, all having spilled out of their home. When I came back the kitchen AND the corridor was full of them. I'm now holed up in my room with them all outside. They're only little, though.

They were all flying in my face, I had to get used to their company as I did that.

I should've made a cleaning roster, but for some reason we didn't. Also it's too late, as I've just learned I'm the only one left. Since yesterday was the final weekday, they must've buggered off already.

InsanityAddict · 2011-05-21 09:41:14

I feel your pain, during my international year the roomies always went home on the weekends, leaving me with the dirty dishes/garbage/etc.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-21 09:47:23

They've left me their dishes, too. Which is annoying because A: I cleaned all my dishes before I left, and B: They called me out when I left my dishes out (despite the fact they do it too) for about a day, and then shoved them all into a bag and made me wash them.

InsanityAddict · 2011-05-21 09:51:49

They sound like absolute douchebags. Do roomies change every year, as with most colleges?

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-21 09:56:58

They may be absolute douchebags, but I don't know, as they seem to be pretty reclusive. They never sit in the kitchen to eat, well, not frequently anyway. I assume they just eat microwave meals in their rooms and drink squash.

Whether or not they'll change depends on what the admin in thsi flat complex deems to happen. I don't know if we'll be together next year. I know some of them are probably moving out next year.

InsanityAddict · 2011-05-21 11:41:53

Shame. A house with a tad of social cohesion can add a lot of fun to college times. Then again, I've always lived in houses where everyone played the hermit, so I can't really point fingers.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-05-21 13:05:13

Yeah. I felt that way when I visited my friend's part of the flat and everyone there gets on great. But then it's still better than my last college, where I never even saw anyone else, let alone spoke to them.

The bugs are gone now. I killed some of them, I think. I feel a bit bad about it. Then I cleaned the kitchen because they were buzzing around the dirty dishes. They're mostly gone now, but I'm glad I finished the job off instead of half-arsing it and just getting rid of the bag.

The phat bug from yesterday got sent off in a tissue, into the bin.

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories

Skeets

Comments