My cat keeps sleeping on my bed

Hatter

Yeah, it's adorable, but he always positions himself so that I can't move my legs without disturbing him. And I'm afraid that I'll roll over in the night and squish him. And he keeps snoring.

Tnu1138

Don't complain I used to ahve a dog who snores.

Forzare

My dog sleeps on my bed, and he's a labradoodle who weighs like eighty pounds.

I laugh at your itty bitty cat problems.

/notreallyserious

Hatter

My cat is huge and black. He's like the Ving Rhames of kitty cats.

InsanityAddict

Wait until the little bastard comes whining for attention when you're hungover.

Alkthash

Imagine the problems you would have if you actually had another person in your bed.

Tnu1138

So why does it matter that he's a black cat huh?! Huh!?

Hatter

What? Please. My girlfriend would sleep on the floor.

EDIT: Tnu, it matters because when he goes into the shadows and closes his eyes, he can attack me from anywhere.

ANYWHERE.

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻

I read the title as "my car keeps sleeping on my bed"

Counterclock

If your cat is huge, chances are you won't be able to squish him.

inkblot

At least he doesn't sleep on your keyboard or bathroom sink.