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-UE
The romance options in BG2
For men, you've got Aerie, a physically damaged and annoying as hell "winged elf" sans wings who won't shut up, Jaheira, who is mourning the death of her husband - while she's acting as the team mom, no less - and Viconia, a dark elf who is emotionally damaged and starts telling you about how much cock she's sucked when you try to be nice to her.
For women, you've got fucking Anomen, who is an ugly fighter/cleric (and he isn't good in either roll) who manages to be both a moralfag and an amoral asshole at the same time - and you have to choose which kind of asshole he'll be.
Really, the only character I wanted to bang at all was Imoen, because she's such a bro, but the game essentially tells you that you're brother and sister in spirit - even though you can be of two entirely different races, and your souls are stripped away from you in the middle of the game - so you're screwed. And Nalia could have used some of the character development that comes from banging the main character. Maybe if she stopped yapping about the poor all the time and actually focused on issues, she'd be a more appealing character.
And what about Keldorn or Valygar for the ladies? They're badasses. Keldorn may be a paladin, but he's both useful and a total bro, and he gets divorced from his estranged wife and is in need for a lady's touch. Valygar manages to be brooding without being a dick, and he's a great fighter. Hell, Haer'Dalis and Cernd are both practically designed to be chick magnets, but do the ladies get to bang them? No. They get stuck with fucking Anomen.
Comments
"Hey, can you go grab me a couple brewskies?"
- 1. "I shall endeavor to provide an inspiring example."
- 2. "Naw, man, Keldorn's on it."
- 3. "Ok, I've just about had my FILL of drunk driving, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, Halo playing, smart arsed bros, sluts, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that the Dean himself wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!"
v I don't.