IJBM - The Text Adventure (Now NSFW!)

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:36:27

What? I thought that this category needed more use :<

>You wake up in a small room. The walls are made of brick, and the floor is stone. The only light comes from a barred window too small for you to fit through. The door is solid steel. It has a small keyhole.

>V - Save
>I - Inventory
>L - Look
>N, E, S, W - Go North, East, South, and West, respectively

>Otherwise, try whatever you can think of

Gelzo · 2011-09-04 19:38:35

>Open the door.

Vivi · 2011-09-04 19:38:47

>I

Stormtroper · 2011-09-04 19:40:02

>Peek through hole

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:40:41

>You find that the door is locked. Damn. Why did you have to get the competent guards?

>Inventory:
>Hairpin
>Straw

>When you peek through the hole, you find another door across the hall. It is not locked. You can't see much else

nohaynicklibre · 2011-09-04 19:41:06

>Win

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:42:06

>To win you must play the game, silly nohaynicklibre

ClockworkUniverse · 2011-09-04 19:42:39

>Wrong. The only way to win is not to play.

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:43:13

>Well we don't TELL them that

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 19:43:48

>Kick down door

Gelzo · 2011-09-04 19:44:32

>Get on the floor.

Forzare · 2011-09-04 19:45:12

>walk dinosaur

>swallow hairpin

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:45:14

>The door is solid steel and locked. You really think that would wo-Oh. Huh. The rusted hinges break and the door falls to the ground.

>You get on the floor. ...Well that was pointless

>You choke on the hairpin and your face begins to turn blue

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 19:50:12

>Regurgitate hairpin

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:51:19

>You vomit out the hairpin. You make a note not to eat the hairpin again.

Gelzo · 2011-09-04 19:53:25

>Everybody: Walk the dinosaur.

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 19:55:29

>Eat hairpin again, then regurgitate once more.

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 19:58:52

>Unfortunately you do not know how to Walk the Dinosaur. You lack movies where you come from

>Something in your head tells you you shouldn't do this, but you do it anyways. Oh dear lord the pain.

>A guard comes by with your gruel and slips on the vomit, falling to the ground and cracking his head open. He has a bunch of keys on him and a short sword. Yes, vomiting got you free stuff. Who would have guessed?

Gelzo · 2011-09-04 20:00:11

>Game: Be less cliched.

Forzare · 2011-09-04 20:00:32

>take advantage of corpse

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 20:00:48

>Eat keys

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 20:01:55

>Command 'Game: Be less cliched.' not recognized

>You feel dirty. Presumably from having sex with a corpse that fell in your own vomit

>You eat the keys without issue

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 20:02:51

>Leave room and bash down the nearest wall with your face

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 20:03:52

>You leave the room without the sword. A guard making rounds sees you and goes to stop you from bashing your head into the wall

>The guard mentions that one of the patients got loose again

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 20:04:25

>Bash his head into the wall

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 20:06:59

>You bash the guard's head into the wall. It makes a satisfying cracking noise. No other guards are around

Legionnaire · 2011-09-04 20:08:14

>Bash down wall

Vivi · 2011-09-04 20:08:25

>fornicate on the guard's corpse.

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 20:09:50

>You begin trying to break down the wall with your bare fists

>After a while, you tire and begin having sex with the corpse of one guard on the corpse of the other

Gelzo · 2011-09-04 20:10:49

>Get arms.

Icalasari · 2011-09-04 20:11:50

>You arm yourself with the guard's arms

>Active Weapon: Arms

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IJBM - The Text Adventure (Now NSFW!)

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