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The Cosmic Brownie

edited 2012-03-14 19:40:25 in General

My friend bought me one of these at a 7/11.


It is the worst brownie in existence. You take a bite, and you can maybe taste a half-remembered memory of chocolate, but then it's just replaced by the stale aftertaste of expired cake mix, with latex instead of water. The ingredients list could probably kill an elephant. I gave a chunk to my mother and she spat it out of the car.


But we ended up daring another one of my friends into trying it today, and by watching his face, the timing on his reaction was about the same as mine was. He ate the whole thing, though, because he had been really hungry. Poor bastard.


Now we think that the entire business model for selling these things is people going "You're not gonna believe this shit, man. Try this brownie from 7/11", entirely by word of mouth. Nobody buys it twice, but everybody's gonna end up trying it once, just for the experience of it. It's genius, in a way.

Comments

  • Has friends besides tanks now

    What Cosmic Brownies did you have? I admit that the ones I sometimes get are pretty damn bland for brownies, but not bad enough to spit it out.

  • Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.

    Yeah, the cosmic brownies I've had aren't in the same country as good, but they aren't horrible.

  • edited 2012-03-14 20:27:22

    ^^ The same ones you had, I presume.

  • MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    Perhaps the ones you had were expired? I've had them. They're okay.

  • Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!

    If they're the Little Debbie ones then they shouldn't be that bad. I've had plenty at lazily catered birthday parties and they weren't spit take worthy.

  • ^^ I had mine about two weeks ago. My friend tasted it this afternoon. Everyone I know despises it.


    They've been sitting on those shelves for a long-ass time if they're expired.

  • I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.

    I was so expecting a drug based thread here.

  • Has friends besides tanks now

    The Little Debbie ones are the ones I sometimes get. They're not horrible, otherwise I wouldn't get them.

  • I also get the Little Debbie ones occasionally. They're not the best brownies in the world but they do taste good.

  • The Little Debbie ones are the ones I'm talking about here. You mean there are different ones?

  • Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!

    ^That depends, did it look like this?


  • Yes, though it might've been more rounded at the edges.
  • Has friends besides tanks now
    Dude, those aren't even bad. I thought I was picky. :P
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